Body Language and Dating

The woman in this picture is leaning forward to her dating partner. This means she feels comfortable with him and is interested in what he has to say.

Body language and dating, taken together, are the real mating dance of the modern human. It's also something that men, especially, tend to ignore; after all, the seduction phase is over and she's said yes, right?

That's a mistake. Though you can get laid on the first date, you might want to come back and drink at the same pond again. And then, women often don't realize that men, regardless of what their body language during dating says, are often after the same thing they want: a relationship. Focus on your body language, and dating will be less stressful and more enjoyable.

For both men and women, body language when falling in love changes significantly. You stand closer together, you face one another more often, your lips stay close to that other person whether you're getting ready to kiss or not.

Her behaviors give you plenty of insight about what she's thinking. Some body language clues to look for:

• Stands very close to you
• Touches you - a lot
• Leans toward you when you speak, even when you're saying something stupid
• Smiles and laughs frequently at you and things you do
• Her eyes sparkle - always watch her eyes!
• Tends to snuggle into you when you embrace. Women, when they fall in love, like to feel safe, and being surrounded by your body as much as possible gives them that feeling.
• Stands closer to you than anyone else

There are some cultural differences that you should watch for, if you're engaging in a cross-cultural dating relationship. For instance, Hispanics habitually stand much closer to one another and touch a lot, so their body language and dating behaviors seem warmer than they may actually be. On the other end of the spectrum, Japanese are typically more distant physically; this means you should be aware of your own body language and the fact that even subtle physical hints might be read and misinterpreted.

Whatever your feelings toward a girl, you should always project positive body language giving her the correct message about your intentions. A man's body language and dating signals are often completely misunderstood by women, largely because they are more subtle than men. For this reason, you need to know what your intentions are and how to communicate them while flirting or otherwise interacting.

For example, one bad habit men sometimes have is getting too touchy too soon. If a woman's interested in you and you start to touch her waist or shoulder or hand, she may well think you mean more by it than you do. On the other hand, a woman who doesn't like to be touched right away could be totally turned off by your close physical body language, eliminating any chance you could have had with her.

For the most part, in body language and dating you should try to figure out what language your partner is using and then use the same one yourself. If she likes getting close, then you should get close; if she seems a little more distant (again, watch the eyes, they rarely lie), then don't even think about touching her until she touches you. In the subtle world of body language and dating behaviors, one touch could make the whole difference.